Afterall, tomorrow is another day

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Sometimes you get stuck.

It can happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. It can happen while taking a shower. It might as well happen in the middle of working on a group project. Or you just get stuck with watching some series over and over again. For whatever reasons, you just... don't feel like doing anything.

You may have a plan. A real plan, with everything described just over there, with lists, specific deadlines and ideas that need to be be put into action. And yet something inside tells you... no. Not now. Not today. Nothing seems to help. Habits are paralyzed, systems are overheated, fingers are swollen, head hurts like a bitch, motivation is nothing but gone.

I am stuck right now. This post was planned. And it was to be about something else entirely. Yet, there is something in my mind that tells me "later, anytime, but just don't do anything now". And it made me wonder. It made me ask one simple question.

What the fuck?

I often look into myself in this kind of situation. They are more common in my life than you might expect and I admit, not always I am able to examine my inner side properly. This is not one of those times. I want to share with you, how I overcome laziness, procrastination, bad times and lack of motivation. And I will illustrate it with my today's example.

1. I realize it 
For example, that there is something I told myself to do, or something I was supposed to have it done. I created a schedule for my day and it seems I can't get to the end of it. Clues are all around me, but the most important clues are inside me.

In my case, I finished working out and I had planned to move onto working on rrquirements set for mediators in Sweden: qualifications, degrees, legal obligations etc.

2. I make sure I am alone
It does sound strange coming from a future psychologist, right? You might expect me to tell you to get out, meet people, talk to a friend or your family or someone close. Or if it happens often and you are not comfortable with it, to see an actual therapist.

True. I am recommending that. This scenario includes situation, when you feel that you can do it by yourself or you are stuck with you being stuck and there is no one you feel you can talk to. I used to dwell into my own problems and not look for solutions. At some point, my abbilities to overcome those were not enough. And I turned for help to a therapist. It was the best idea I ever had, because now I know how to move forward from point A to C while having something that derailed me to point B. It's not always possible to do it by yourself.

3. I look for the roots
I am not talking about resolving some issues from the past. But I am talking about looking into my past. I look for similarities and differences. How is this similar to what I felt the last time I got stuck? What makes it different this time? The main idea behind that kind of dwelling into it lies behind the concept, that our bodies have their own ideas for what is best for you. It may be about preserving energy, it may be about saving resources, it may be connected to need for regeneration.

What happened to me now happened to me before. Right now, I am tired as if I would start a new job. Adjusting my body to new country, new teaching methods and new people takes time. If I add to this quiting smoking, starting exercising, coming back to proper diet and being far away from people I care about, it already is a pretty long list.

4. I put on some music
Yes, this is important to me. When I work on something, I want to hear music. It usually is one song that I came to love. The sense behind it is that I developed a whole ritual of examining myself. For you it may be something else entirely: drinking coffee, sitting in a chair, going for a walk or a run, writing some thoughts down. It can be anything and everything. Just make sure you put your brain to work.

My case? Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry".

5. I am not harsh on myself
I do not need to come with some everlasting anwser, just as you don't need to make sure it will not happen again. As said before, being stuck in doing absolutely nothing happens more often than you might think it tends to happen without realizing it. This time I may find out what is happening. Other time I can fail. But just because I fail it does not make me a failure.

After establishing that I know something is stopping me from doing certain things I wanted to do, making sure that I can handle it by myself, after comparing it to previous times, putting some music on and telling to myself it is not a big deal if I don't figure this out, comes the difficult part.

6. I just do things
And I mean anything. I already moved from the point that my brain was not engaged with any particular tasks, onto resolving it. Our brains crave for stimulation. And you just gave it something to process. Right now, your brain is thinking of itself! Some schizopfrenia patients, even in remission phase, may consume up to 7000 calories a day. That is the amount that people living in the North Pole need to survive!

Never underestimate how your brain is affecting you.

7. I am happy with any result
This is the tricky part. Whatever you did, it is a start. It may not be a great start, and it can be far away from what you were hoping for.

I get the general idea of what my body is going through. And believe me, not like not doing anything is always about adapting to change. It can be one single change, there may be several of them, and they all decided to show up at the same time. It is a signal my body is sending to me. And I did not ignore it, oh no. I did what I could, giving it my best. I am happy that I could take this opportunity to dive into what was going on inside of me. I now have a better connection with myself. I am now able to do what I wanted.

It works for me. This is a frame I developed over years of trying to figure out what on earth is happening. And I am grateful to all the people who helped me with improving it - my family, my friends, my loved ones, but also my teachers, my professional colleagues, accidently encountered people, my therapist, writers of books I have read and actors in movies I have seen.

It is not easy to be alone with me, myself and I. But believe me, it is worth it. I challenge you to be alone with yourself and get to know yourself better.