I was missing Poland more than I thought. At the same time, I am missing Spain more than I expected. Fortunately, I do have some time to be spent for adaptation to the new circumstances. For now, I am doing whatever it takes to do exactly that.
Slowly but surely I am getting the hang of Poland. I already catched up with most of my family members (so crazy to meet all 6 of them: mom, grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousin), I also visited my beloved Łódź twice and met with many of the most important people in my life. Add to it some best friends in Radomsko and... Yep. That would be all.
No, that's not all.
There came a time when I realized just how... not enough people I've gotten to know. I like being surrounded by new faces. Time to put into motion a plan I conceived to make it my reality, but Ifelt too unprepared to go through with it. For now, I shall keep the execution details to myself. I will reveal them next month, along with how did it went. Wish me luck, cause it will be something I never tried.
However, I do get a feeling I will be able to meet some valuable people out there.
See you next week, if you want to find out a little bit more about motivation to move yourself away from where you are or towards your dream. Be warned, because the idea of movement might make it sound similar, but those are very different processes.
The Day has come. Everything is set, packed, ready and done. What else can I say?
Can I say I enjoyed staying in Vic? Yes, I can.
Can I say I met wonderful people here? Yes, I can.
Can I say I traveled a lot? Yes, I can.
Can I say I did everything I came here for? Yes, I can.
Can I say I challenged myself everyday? Yes, I can.
This stay taught me how little control I have over my life and how much control I can have if I commit myself to reach out for it.
Because this is what my Erasmus was all about -fully enjoying the short time, meeting great people, traveling and exploring, accomplishing my goals and do everything that is in my power to tackle whatever was coming in my direction. Those 4 months were the most educating part of my life. I got to experience things I thought I will need to pospone until the unspecifed future. A bit like mañana.
I am leaving my house in about 30 minutes. At 7 I will be back in Poland. And at night I will be back home. What will come next? Actually, nothing fancy for now. Studying for exams in Poland, filling out the paperwork after coming back, meeting and catching up with friend back in Radomsko and Łódź, looking for a job, finishing my thesis. All of it will have a simple purpose - to excel. To overcome my limitations. To become better. To be happy.
This is not the end of this blog, though. Oh no. You see, there is this list I created a while ago. I still have quite a number of things I want to cross out. This blog will accompany me during my future endeavours. And I hope so will You.
Today's the New Year. That means lots of reflections, but also a great deal of learning and planning, before I decide what I want to do next. I've actually given this a lot of thinking before writing this. Here goes nothing.
If someone would ask a year ago, how would my year look like, I'd say that I dedicated it to fulfillment - the feeling of become someone better. I would do that by raising my self-esteem, developing my competence as a future psychologist, finding someone to love and traveling as much as possible, to feel happiness. I think I got there.
A year ago I did not think I will think high of myself. I've been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks because of an assault I was a victim of in May of 2013, a near-death situation that landed me in a hospital. I felt weak. I was not confident at all about anything that I want to do about myself. I didn't really know where I want to go with my life. Today, I know what I can and even more importantly - what I cannot do. And this gives me great confidence.
A year ago I did not think that I will find love. That such a mess of a person as myself, going through panic attacks, overweight, without a job, without a dream for the future... deserves love. That there is nothing I can give to someone I would treasure. But I did find love. Twice at that. And even though I am not with any of those woman, I found out that I can be an important part of someone's life. That I matter.
A year ago I did not think I will be spending my New Year in Spain, after traveling to Spain before that, too. Also to go to Sweden, Denmark, Andorra and island of Tenerife. Hell, I thought that I would be grounded once more in Poland.
A year ago I did not think I will be happy. And today I am not only happy. I am filled with joy that comes from being grateful to the little gifts of everyday life, from being surrounded by people that are important to me and from having hope for a better future.
My last year I called Year of Fulfillment. Let's make this one Year of Recognition. I want to share what I learned about happiness during the course of my life with every person that wants to hear it. Be that because we just met or because they need a hand to get back on their feet.
I believe we do not pay too much attention to our inner merriness, the one that comes from within. From the pure satisfation of being alive, . From being able to say that we have people that love us and that we love back. And from knowing how much change we can bring to ourselves by ourselves, if we only give it a chance. The bliss of being able to dream and to have the strength to get to them.
We are born with a right to achieve whatever we want. Execute your right, dear Readers. Be happy in 2015.
And listen to this, because it's just crazy. Headphone users, sorry in advance ;).
